I’m probably not the ideal candidate to write a piece about MLK day, but there have been some moments in my story that have blessed me with unique perspective. So, I’ll write this with a great deal of humility, a little bit of perspective, and a whole lot of gratitude.
During the cold Michigan winters, my Dad developed a ritual of taking us kids to the library once a week. I believe that his purpose was both noble and practical. The noble was that he wanted us to be well read. The practical was that it was a cheap way to get us out of the house and give my mom a break. Whatever the motive, this ritual set me on a course to becoming an avid reader and thinker (shout out to Gino). I can’t explain why, but as a boy, I kept pausing at the shelf where the youth biographies were kept. Week after week, time after time, I stopped at the “K” section and picked up another book about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Over time, I read every one of them. Sometimes I would sit on the floor of the library poring over the pages. No one steered me to that subject. I guess I was just drawn to his courage, his wisdom, his leadership, and his strength. I loved reading about his life. While I didn’t fully grasp the complexities of racial tension and civil rights, something about this guy inspired me, and his message got in me.
Dr. King was mythical to me, but my understanding of his message was limited by my own interpretation of what I was reading. I really only was able to read with the lenses that I was given. Then, as I grew older, I got the privilege of having my lenses expanded.
First there was the Saturday night basketball crew. Guys like Ralph and Andre and Kazeem would drive up from the city and mix it up with some of us suburban white kids. We would play and argue, and play and argue, and then we’d argue some more. The fire that they played with was different than the fire that I played with, and yet…it really wasn’t. I would make a beautiful backdoor cut to get free for a layup, and Ralph would just keep dribbling at the top of the key and yell “I see you.” Well if you see me pass me the fricken ball. I’d tell him that I was open, and then we’d argue.
Then I went off to play college baseball, and I was part of like .01% of white college baseball players in America who played for a black head coach. Coach was mean and coach was tough. When it came time to find somewhere to play summer ball, he shipped a handful of us to play not on the groomed and pristine diamonds of the suburbs, but to the mostly black men’s baseball league that played on the dimly lit and rarely mowed fields at Northwestern High School in Detroit. In this environment, as a white guy, I was in the minority. I had to prove in more ways than one that I belonged.
Then I transferred to ORU where I was assigned Robert Jordan as a roommate. We went from having almost zero in common to becoming brothers after living together in a dorm room for 9 months (shout out to Rob and his Rams for being back in the Super Bowl). His friend Rod Henderson would come down the hall most nights, and Rod and I became close as well. Rod had some deep conversations with me, the kind that make you understand that the problems of life look differently depending on the lenses that you’re looking through.
I went on to work at one of the Big Three for a bit, and I was the only white person in my entire bargaining unit. My direct supervisor was tough and fair all at the same time. He wasn’t PC with me, and I’m not sure that most folks with my background would be able to hang in there with him…but he also gave me credit when I did a good job and stuck up for me when I needed it.
More relationships would follow as I went through life (shout out most recently to Ricardo aka Roberto aka Ronaldo), each one offering a new angle and a new perspective about how different and how similar my approach to life is from those who look different from me. They’ve each provided a little bit different lens to add to my perspective, and when I piece them all together, I like to think of each relationship as a piece of a mosaic, or better yet, a piece of a stained-glass window that helps frame the way that I look at the complexities of our culture.
I’m not an expert, and I still have lots of my original lenses in play that cause my default perspective to be pretty limited. But I also have these extra pieces that have shaped me and changed me so that I can see a little bit more than I was able to see before.
And so, when I think about MLK day, I think about all of those relationships. I think about the way that I saw Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when I first read about him versus my expanded view of him after all of these years. There’s a lot of cherry-picking that goes on the socials on MLK day. I can’t say that it really bothers me, though, because posting a Dr. King quote is always a good idea, in my opinion. But, if a quote resonates with you, I’d encourage you to read the transcript of some of his speeches. Or better yet, listen to the recordings of them to get a more complete perspective of his tone and message. And most importantly, don’t just settle for understanding why his words resonate with you – seek to understand why they resonate with someone who isn’t like you.
I love all of the best-known quotes that so many are likely to share today. But, there are some other phrases and concepts that also resonate deeply with me:
One of Dr. King’s dreams that he mentions is that we would sit at a “table of brotherhood.” I’ve found that sharing a meal and sitting at a table with folks who don’t look or think like me can be one of the most transformative experiences possible.
Dr. King spoke about the Bible story “The Good Samaritan,” and he warned about the insufficiency of being “compassionate by proxy.” I believe that this is especially relevant today. It’s easy to offer compassion in print: it’s harder to offer it in real life.
One of the dreams that Dr. King spoke of was that we would one day “join hands.” Through the relationships that I’ve developed, I’ve learned that it’s easier to cheer someone on from a distance than it is to actually join hands with them and partner with them to move forward.
I’ve still got lots to learn and lots to grow into. I’m trying to honor my friends and honor people like Dr. King by moving the needle in my own micro-cultures. I’m trying to shape my kids to think in a different way. I’m trying to speak up when it’s most uncomfortable so that my silence isn’t interpreted as indifference. And I’m trying to understand, not just be understood.
I’m inspired and challenged by so many of Dr. King’s words, but maybe most of all, I look to the brief portion of his most famous speech in which he addresses his “white brothers.”
“…our white brothers…have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.”
for underdogs & kings... 